Its funny, because not even the doctors know what the future holds or what my outlook on life will be. I have no plans on dying am not ready yet, there are lot of things to be done on earth. I got a few good years left and am gonna keep fighting. I cannot spend the rest of my life worrying what if?
what f i get hit by a truck? what if my husband leave? what if it rains? so what? am alive and am gonna enjoy it while it last. Even when am ill, even when am down, even when am out of breath and even when my legs are tired and i cant get up the stairs, cant put my socks on.
to hell with what if am enjoying today.
Saturday, 3 October 2009
Friday, 5 June 2009
Monday, 18 May 2009
life begins at 40
Today i beleive god has bless me. I am learning to exhale and appreciate the things i have accomplish in life. To be greatful for what i have. Today i open my yes and i am thankful for life.
I am more patient now, something i never was before my operation. I am learning to take small steps. With this i will accomplish many things
I am more patient now, something i never was before my operation. I am learning to take small steps. With this i will accomplish many things
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
i will survive
Today my back is sore i can hardly move. I beleive its ischias because its all the way down to my gluts. I have to get to the gym tomorrow and i know my P.T is gonna train me hard she takes no for an answer
Monday, 11 May 2009
life is what you make of it
Yes i have to fight to get back the body i had when i was 18 years old. (lol9 not easy but i intend to do it. we cant just let ourselves go. being bed ridden and ill for so long has taken a toll on my body and i can finally see the rewards paying off.
Today my P.T trained my but off but it was worth it. Am sore all over
Today my P.T trained my but off but it was worth it. Am sore all over
you can do it
Amazing what the body can master. 4 months ago i felt like a 90 year old woman and today i warm up at the gym for 1 hour on the stair climber then it was hard work with my personal trainer. I am amaze.
All you need to do is pick yourself up and beleive in yourself. Anything is possible.
All you need to do is pick yourself up and beleive in yourself. Anything is possible.
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
Tuesday, 14 April 2009
Welcome to my world
Today am on strike! yes it may sound weird but being heartsick and caring for two children and a husband who seems at times to be totally helpless like a kid is not easy. (nooo dont misunderstand me i want no pity)
The first thing the my ten year old does everymorning, Mom wheres my shoes, mooooooooooom where are my boocks. Then i go into the bathroom to take a pee my 1 1/2 year old is following me around. I love my precious little angels but i feel that am not enough for them. Too little of me to go around. Not to mention my husband, Darcy wheres my underwear, for god sake am i the only one who goes through this, i mean am i wearing boxers now, come on, give me a break.
Then hon do you know where i put my black socks or my brown pants etc, now you all see what i mean. Now dont get me wrong but there are days i think i need a vacation away from all this.
Now i lock myself in the bathroom, yes finally some time to myself, ah i can breath again. But not for long.................................. yes gotta get out they are banging on the door.
.........................I WILL TELL YOU MORE...........
The first thing the my ten year old does everymorning, Mom wheres my shoes, mooooooooooom where are my boocks. Then i go into the bathroom to take a pee my 1 1/2 year old is following me around. I love my precious little angels but i feel that am not enough for them. Too little of me to go around. Not to mention my husband, Darcy wheres my underwear, for god sake am i the only one who goes through this, i mean am i wearing boxers now, come on, give me a break.
Then hon do you know where i put my black socks or my brown pants etc, now you all see what i mean. Now dont get me wrong but there are days i think i need a vacation away from all this.
Now i lock myself in the bathroom, yes finally some time to myself, ah i can breath again. But not for long.................................. yes gotta get out they are banging on the door.
.........................I WILL TELL YOU MORE...........
Friday, 10 April 2009
Friday, 3 April 2009
Stemcell saves lives
Amazing, In stockholm yesterday scientist from Karolinska Institute (in sweden) has found that the heart continues to bild new cells during ones lifetime. By stemcell researcher Jonas Frisèn.
This will enable them to prevent heart attacks and other illness
This will enable them to prevent heart attacks and other illness
Thursday, 2 April 2009
not a good day
today was not a good day, i am down and out with the flue. There is a feeling that i get sick easier than others and get all the germs my kids bring home from school
Sunday, 29 March 2009
Here, have a million dollars
Iwould give it oa shelter for battered women. too many women is abused around the world each day. Stop female violence
Friday, 27 March 2009
my near death experience
Call me insane, but my nanny who is from Columbia told me that am seeing ghost because of my near death experience. This could be true because back in 2007 14 days after taken ill i woke up in the intensive care and i met an angel in the room. I swear, maybe it was because of the medicine but i also met the devil who told me he wasnt gonna leave me beacause its my time and he is thinking of taking me with him. Despite me having open heart surgery and my chest felt like i was hit by a truck i could sqeak like hell you are. On ofcourse i was the only one who could see the devil not to mention the four leprichans sitting on the floor at the corner of my bed. ( I stared to think maybe i did something bad on my trip to Costa Rica in 2006. I think i pick some flowers in the rain forest and i could swear i disturb one of those old indian burial ground).
Anyway i also remembered that someone gave me a leprechan some years ago that was supose to protect me and bring me luck? Whatever it is its working, because whenever the leprechans are around the devil seems to disapear.
i will tell you more later
Anyway i also remembered that someone gave me a leprechan some years ago that was supose to protect me and bring me luck? Whatever it is its working, because whenever the leprechans are around the devil seems to disapear.
i will tell you more later
me in 2007 learning about my heartmate 2
This was a day in November 2007 when i was transferred from the intencive care to the dayward
Thursday, 26 March 2009
Wednesday, 25 March 2009
giving birth
Usually when one is having a baby a woman never thought of tf the complications and abnormalities that can occur. Having a baby is supose to be a joyous day not something that can end in death
Tuesday, 24 March 2009
the ghost in my house
I live in a very old house 3 story from 1901. Outside of Stockholm in a beautiful little sea village call Saltsjöbaden. I been living here for the past 5 years. The earlier owner i was told was a coffin maker. I have had visitors who have visited me telling me they have seen ghost here but i am starting to wonder are they right. Last week i caught my 1 1 /2 year old child sitting in a corner and looking up in jestures as if she was speaking to some to some one. I notice at nights there are movement in the attic, the floors are sqeeking, windows closing and last night i had a feeling that someone was standing over me. I told m,y husband and he sad its my imagination from watching too many horror movies. Lets see what happens tonight. I will let you know tomorrow..........................
Monday, 23 March 2009
Sunday, 22 March 2009
Heartmate II Pump save my life
Am truly bless
1 1/2 years ago i gave birth to a beautifull baby girl called Victoria. She is the joy of my life. Two days after her birth i was suddenly struck with a heart condition called peri (or post) partum cardiomyopathy. This is an unusuall heart disease that affect the heart during pregnancy or up to 6 months after delivery. I took ill with a pain over my right shoulder and while sitting at the ER i had difficulties breathing and passed out. i woke up 10 days later in intensive care, wondering what i was doing there.
the doctors operated in a heart pump an Left Ventricle Device (LVAD). I had a EF of approximately 10% and was told i would need a heart transplant or in the worst case die. Now this was very shocking to me and my husband. After the shoch wore off i stayed 36 days in a surgical ward followed by many visits to the hospital for over 1 year and 4 months.
On December the 11th 2008 my Heartmate 2 LVAD was explanted successfully by a team of very clever doctors at Karolinska University hospital. I am Swedens first patient and scandinavian first, to have this type of operation without needing a heart transplant and for this am greatfull!Things have been pretty good since my surgy and for this am very greatfull. Am counting my blessings. Whats next!The sky is the limit for me and today am ever greatful to the heart surgical team at Karolinska hospital and thoratec.
Today am home and i fel great. life is truly full of surprises
1 1/2 years ago i gave birth to a beautifull baby girl called Victoria. She is the joy of my life. Two days after her birth i was suddenly struck with a heart condition called peri (or post) partum cardiomyopathy. This is an unusuall heart disease that affect the heart during pregnancy or up to 6 months after delivery. I took ill with a pain over my right shoulder and while sitting at the ER i had difficulties breathing and passed out. i woke up 10 days later in intensive care, wondering what i was doing there.
the doctors operated in a heart pump an Left Ventricle Device (LVAD). I had a EF of approximately 10% and was told i would need a heart transplant or in the worst case die. Now this was very shocking to me and my husband. After the shoch wore off i stayed 36 days in a surgical ward followed by many visits to the hospital for over 1 year and 4 months.
On December the 11th 2008 my Heartmate 2 LVAD was explanted successfully by a team of very clever doctors at Karolinska University hospital. I am Swedens first patient and scandinavian first, to have this type of operation without needing a heart transplant and for this am greatfull!Things have been pretty good since my surgy and for this am very greatfull. Am counting my blessings. Whats next!The sky is the limit for me and today am ever greatful to the heart surgical team at Karolinska hospital and thoratec.
Today am home and i fel great. life is truly full of surprises
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